The term “bridezilla” gets thrown around a lot, often to describe a woman who is simply stressed out by the enormous pressure of planning a wedding. But every now and then, a story emerges that gives the term its true, monstrous meaning. It’s a tale not of stress, but of a stunning lack of empathy and a cruel obsession with appearances. A reader wrote to us about her brother’s fiancée, whose quest for the “perfect” wedding photo album led her to send an email so shocking, it caused the groom to cancel the entire event.
My brother Mark was head-over-heels in love with his fiancée, Amanda. We all thought she was a little controlling when it came to wedding planning, but we chalked it up to stress. We had no idea of the depths of her obsession until she sent out the “Wedding Aesthetics” email to the entire guest list. My brother didn’t just get angry. He ended the whole relationship.
The Aesthetic Mandate
The email arrived in our inboxes two months before the big day. The subject line was, “A Quick Note on Wedding Attire & Aesthetics!” I thought it would be about the color palette or asking people not to wear white. It was so much worse.
It was a list of rules. Weight-based rules. It stated that for the sake of a “cohesive and elegant aesthetic,” she had some “guidelines.” For women, if you were over 160 lbs (72kg), you were required to wear black or dark, concealing colors, preferably with shapewear. For men over 200 lbs (90kg), a black suit was mandatory.
But it didn’t stop there. There was a section for the bridal party, of which I was a member. It said we had eight weeks to “tone up and slim down” to fit the “sleek, uniform look” of the dresses she had chosen. She even included a link to a calorie-counting app and a suggested workout plan. She was essentially putting her entire guest list, including her own family and closest friends, on a mandatory pre-wedding diet.
The Family Mutiny
My phone immediately started blowing up. My aunts were horrified. My cousins were texting me screenshots in disbelief. My mom, who is a beautiful, curvy woman, was deeply hurt. This wasn’t just tacky; it was cruel and humiliating.
I called my brother Mark right away. He was at work and hadn’t seen the email. At first, he tried to defend her. “Oh, you know Amanda,” he said. “She’s just really focused on the details.” I stopped him right there. “No, Mark. You don’t understand.” I read the email to him, word for word. The part about women over 160 lbs. The part about our mom needing to wear black. The part where she told me, his sister, to lose weight.
There was a long, dead silence on the phone. I could practically hear his heart breaking. His voice was quiet when he finally spoke. “She sent that to everyone?” he asked. “To our family?” The illusion had shattered. He said he had to go and hung up.
The Un-Save the Date
What happened next was a whirlwind. Mark went home and confronted Amanda. From what we pieced together later, she didn’t see anything wrong with the email. She defended it, crying that she “just wanted one perfect day” and that he was “ruining her vision.”
For my brother, it was a moment of horrifying clarity. The woman he loved was willing to fat-shame and humiliate every single person in their lives, including her own mother-in-law, for the sake of a photo album. He saw a future filled with this kind of cruelty and control, and he wanted no part of it. That night, he packed a bag, left the apartment, and called off the wedding.
The next day, all the guests received a second email, this one from Mark. It was short and to the point: “Due to unforeseen circumstances, the wedding of Mark and Amanda is cancelled. I deeply apologize for the emotional and financial inconvenience this will cause. I will be in contact personally with guests who have made travel arrangements.”
My brother is devastated, but our entire family has rallied around him, telling him he did the right thing. Amanda and her family, however, are painting him as a villain who panicked and threw away a relationship over one ‘silly, stressed-out email.’ I think my brother is a hero who dodged a lifetime of misery. AITA for telling every single person who will listen that my brother’s decision was an act of courage?
This story is a chilling reminder that a wedding is not just a party; it’s a reflection of a couple’s values. The bride’s email revealed a deep-seated cruelty and a shocking obsession with appearances over people. The groom’s decision, while undoubtedly painful, was an act of profound integrity. He chose to protect his friends and family from the person he was supposed to align with for life. He didn’t just cancel a wedding; he stood up for kindness and respect.
What do you think, readers? Did the groom overreact to a bridezilla’s stressful demands, or was calling off the wedding the only right thing to do? Let us know your thoughts.
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